How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship
So many people are constantly DMing asking about my relationship with chad. A lot of you guys are wondering if we fight, how we resolve things and how to maintain a good relationship. I haven’t ever really talked much about our relationship on the blog. Of course you guys see him in my stories and occasional photos with the pups, but today I’m going to talk about the most important pieces of our relationship and how we work to always try and be better versions of ourselves.
For Chad and I, communication is absolutely the most important key to the health of our relationship. When we first started dating 8 years ago I had a really hard time expressing myself which created an issue for us. The older I got and more comfortable I got in my own skin, the easier it was for me to tell him how I felt. Now I have absolutely no problem communicating my feelings and that’s a huge piece of what makes us so strong. We’re able to move through any issues we have pretty quickly because we’re so open with one another. Chad has always been really open and expressive about his views so it makes it even easier for me to feel comfortable. We quickly realized that not talking about things can cause us to build up resentment that is so unnecessary. My number one piece of advice in relationships is if you have an issue bring it up in a setting where it’s just the two of you and you have time to work it out.
Trust is right behind communication, and I’m lucky to say that I’ve never had a reason not to trust chad. I do my best to let him go out whenever he wants with his friends and I let that time be his. I see a ton of women who will constantly text or call their significant other while they’re out to “check in”, and that immediately gives them the idea that you don’t trust them and can build resentment. These days chad has honestly gotten to the point where he would rather hang out with me and stay home on the weekends, but we definitely didn’t get to this place with me micromanaging him while he was out with his friends. He still enjoys the occasional night out with the guys, or goes on bachelor parties with the boys and to be honest that time is great for me. I get to relax, take baths and do face masks, watch the tv I want and work on the blog. I truly feel like having your own things and coming back together to get to talk about it rather than being together 24/7 is so much healthier in the long run. It really does breed a better ground for trust and communication.
Maintain the respect you had for one another when you first started dating is necessary in order to have good communication. Respecting one another is what allows you to go to the other person in a RATIONAL way when you do have an issue. This is so important to keep your conversations constructive and make sure that our arguments never get nasty or too emotional. Respect also forces you to put yourself in the other persons shoes and try to understand where they’re coming from. This is something we say to one another every time we have an argument, and not in a bitter way, but more like “can you understand where I’m coming from?” And often times that leads to a much quicker resolution
Striving to be better
When we got married we both vowed to always try to be making our relationship and one another better. So whether that’s supporting one another’s goals or making a rule to have a phone basket and hours with no screen time, we are open to making change. We like to have dinner time together to talk about business ideas, plans we want to make or mundane things. Whatever it is it usually leads into something we could be doing better or something one of us needs help with.
Over our honeymoon we read a couple of books that have really helped us in deciding how we want to navigate our marriage and I’ll share them below